I Made A Movie.
A short film, really.
For some reason if it’s not at least an hour, it’s not a movie anymore. It’s a film, and it’s short. Kind of like when you run a half-marathon. But I have run two half-marathons, many years ago- both in the same year- one was in January, the other in June. So the way I think about it, that year I actually ran a marathon, and it took me 6 months, two weeks, 4 days, 11 hours, 36 minutes, and 19 seconds, total. That’s right, my marathon time was 6:4:11:36:19.
Slow and steady.
Anyway.
1. My Short Film (part 1)
2. A New Symposium- Re-Writing (free, and open to anyone)
3. Another Writers’ Meet-up
4. Write Your Sitcom Pilot! (new class forming)
5. James
MY SHORT FILM
Sometime in 2019, I was having lunch with the incredibly talented and supportive Lauren Dunitz, my good friend (and the producer of my Sean Conroy Gets Happier podcast). As we were walking back to our cars I started pitching her an idea for a short film, one I had been mulling over and carrying around for what seems like decades. Was. It involved a time I pretended to be a bouncer so I could check I.D.’s for a friend who was tending bar in the West Village (Automatic Slim’s!!!), a 7-foot-tall 400 pound bagman dressed in motorcycle leathers, the theft of a large amount of money (tens of thousands of dollars) (and possibly drugs) from a back office and of a smaller but still significant amount of money from the cash register, and some well-dressed men who came in the next day who my bartender friend referred to as “the Sicilians.” Yes, they were upset.
These things didn’t necessarily happen all at the same time, but I thought they could make a cohesive whole (along with lots of other invented stuff). Stuff that did happen, could happen, didn’t happen, and wouldn’t happen. And I would add some totally made up stuff. That’s a story. And I could do like the Coen brothers at the beginning of Fargo and say “This is a true story.”
Anyway, I got excited telling it. And what happens when you tell a supportive producer-type person (she also does lots of other things well) about how excited you are to make that short film?
You’re making it.
I was writing and directing a film. Like Spielberg, or Tarantino, or Ed Wood, or Uwe Boll.
Now, that doesn’t mean I was on set, camera whirring (they used to whir), in a chair with my name on it (spoiler- I never did get that chair!). I still had to write an actual script, assemble a production team, cast actors, shoot, edit, score, color, add titles, on and on and on.
But we started. Pre-production, they call it- from the Latin pre- meaning before, and production meaning production. In a classic case of putting the cart before the script, I met with a Director of Photography- you probably know what that is, but just in case, it’s somebody who handles all the technical aspects of the shoot- cameras, lenses, how to get the shots I wanted… he was a guy I had worked with on another project, where I was acting and he was the DP. The set was fairly chaotic, and I just really admired the way he stayed focussed (great joke- possible idea for a t-shirt/bumper sticker? Hmmm… limited target market…)..
We had coffee, and I pitched him the story, and by then I had a beginning and an ending and a little in the middle (“he opens the register, grabs all the money that’s in there, and says ‘This is my tip.’”), and he thought it was great. Or at least, good enough to work on.
We were all set (wow, another great joke)! Hooray for Hollywood! We’re shooting a moving picture!
Then (sorry to bring this up) the pandemic happened.
At some point, during that whole kerfuffle, I drove from LA to New York, to see my family. And then back, to not see them. It took me three days each way.
At another point I drove from LA to Sun Valley, Idaho, to do Thanksgiving with friends, and then back once the turkey was gone. It took me about 12 to 14 hours each way.
During those four trips, I was pulled over for speeding four times. Zero tickets, I am so charming! I truly am. But one law enforcement encounter was unusual. And when I told Lauren about it, we decided it would be easier to make that as a short film.
So we did. Here it is. Please enjoy.
Was it worth making? More soon…
A SYMPOSIUM ON RE-WRITING
On Wednesday October 16, 6:30 PM (PST). I’m gonna do a thing about re-writing, on Zoom, for free for whoever wants to be there. The writing process is such a personal thing. It’s all about figuring out what works for you. So I’m gonna share the process I go through when I am re-writing a script, in case it inspires anybody to go “I should try that!” or “That sucks and is wrong, I’m gonna do something else.” Neil Simon (heard of him?) said “Rewriting is when writing really gets to be fun.... In baseball you only get three swings and you're out. In rewriting, you get almost as many swings as you want and you know, sooner or later, you'll hit the ball.”
I’ll talk for a while about how I go about it, and then I’ll open it up to questions. If you want to be there, fill out this form, and I’ll send you the link.
ANOTHER WRITERS’ MEET-UP
We did it again! It was fun. You shoulda been there. We talked about musical theater, lucid dreaming, eye charts, whether it’s okay for characters to laugh at other characters’ jokes… we’ll do another soon, hopefully in December.
WRITE YOUR SITCOM PILOT!!! (class)
I’m teaching another round of my legendary, world-famous class about how to write a sitcom pilot, and you’re invited. I even made a commercial for it, which you can see here.
Important stuff to know:
The class meets on Zoom, so you can take it from anywhere
It’s 6 two-hour classes, each of which will include a Q &A session at the end (and yes I talk too much so they will run long)
All aspects of the process will be covered: inventing a world, developing the characters, breaking the original story, rewriting based on feedback, pitching a pilot episode idea, creating an outline for the pilot, and finally, if you do the work, writing the script.
In addition to 6 group meetings, taking the class means you will get a one-on-one session with me to go over your entire script point by point.
The class costs $399 (yesterday I saw a similar class being offered- the teacher was someone with much less experience than I have both as a writer and as a teacher, and the class was literally twice as expensive. Just saying…)
There are two sessions forming. The first is Saturdays 12-3 PM PST November 2, 9, 16, 23, December 7, 14 (no class Thanksgiving weekend). The second is Thursdays 6-9 PM PST November 7, 14, 21, December 5, 12, 19 (no class Thanksgiving- can you believe it?). In both cases times for the one-on-one meetings are TBD.
Go here for more info on the class.
Sign up for the Saturday session here.
Sign up for the Thursday session here.
JAMES
A little over two weeks left to finish the book, by Percival Everett. And just to be clear, I thought for a while we would do a live discussion, but that is logistically impossible, so we’ll do it as a written comments type thing. Valid points, reasonable interpretations, unnoticed details, arguments… like a literature elective all over again! More soon!
Stay safe everybody.
Best,